I sit near a window watching a male red
cockaded woodpecker work his neck muscle repeatedly on northern red oak bark
outside the library window. I've been in a less appreciative state this
last year, and would normally not pay much attention towards this bird.
In fact, the pattern of my mind would read as follows:
I see the bird
Then I distract myself with the
task-at-hand
I observe the bird again
Without an actual feeling of
curiosity, I think I should be interested in this observation
(My former self has had the tendency
to become willfully lost in the natural world)
I return to what I was doing
And then I feel guilty that I'm not
interested in the bird
I remain distracted
This process of intellectualizing
emotions has been more persistently distracting and rather unhealthy as of
late. Though I've been going on
walks in the forest and getting to know techniques for identifying trees and
becoming familiar with my surroundings, I haven't felt any deepening
relationship with the forest outwardly, nor inwardly have I offered gratitude
for its inherent value. I fault myself primarily through lacking clear
intention in my life.
I've been selecting the easier path,
the one of least resistance, through adopting a mindset of surrender, settling,
and making it through the day or week.
This has overwhelmed any possibility of creation, challenge and
appreciation. Functioning on the day-to-day, with a
vague expectation that I will wake up from this philosophical coma. This is no doubt a familiar feeling to
most of us in this modern world.
Balancing acceptance with innovation, taking care of yourself while diligently
pursuing a professional career, going through states of complacency, burning
out, stressing over not knowing if tomorrow you will have a roof over your head
and then a year later forgetting how important it is to meet you and your family’s
needs of food, shelter and community.
Though the length of time associated
with this mindset may last an afternoon, a week, a month, it may also range to
several years or decades. I recently
heard a story of the “hero” bus driver who one day, after 20 years as a New
York City bus driver, took his bus away from his regular track, and drove the
metropolitan bus down to Florida, sick of the routine humdrum. He did not phone in to work nor his
family for several days. These actions
represent a wake-up call, wondering where have the years gone, finding a deep inhale
of freedom after years of clogged lungs.
These actions, however, beget consequences, such as in this ‘moment of
glory’, the bus driver left behind an insecure, under-valued and abandoned
family.
Where do you meet in the middle? I ask this, because I don’t want to be
the bus driver. How do you bring
meaning into daily existence while there is a persistent feeling of being in an
unfulfilled funk? I’m currently
trying a change in perspective.
The goal is to embrace several conversations or situations each day for
what they are: a transient opportunity, with a strong possibility never to experience
these unique set of circumstances of who you are, and what the surrounding environment
is like in this precise moment again.
Inviting purpose into your life outside of the big picture lens of
mitigating climate change to save-the-planet, or rescuing a child from a
burning building.
This is a goal of mine moving into
2016. Cherishing the present environment and current relationships in my
life, as opposed to living in the future or the past, as was common for me in
2015.
Elaborated path to more
meaningful conversations (based on my own personality).
Set a specific intention for your
conversation at its onset. I'm generally not assertive in calling the other
person or myself out. So if I don't have an intention set, then I’m
unable to fix what is missing or off, even when the environment doesn’t feel
whole or right.
Engage with people you care deeply
about, share a history with, have similar passions that you’d like to deepen
your exploration with, or are challenged by them due to surficial or core
disagreements. The development of
relationships is rewarding, though they certainly require energy and work,
especially if one is physically distant.
Questioning and challenging each
other, while that may disrupt the surface, can yield a deeper understanding of
how we perceive and interact with our surroundings, hopefully in a more
beneficial way.
Ensure there is consensual engagement
in the topic of conservation and create a safe space for the dialogue.
While it is easy to regurgitate what
we learn or experience apart from each other, and then share that experience
(i.e. small talk), little emotional and mental intelligence is required for
such exchanges. Try to synthesize your
experience, relate them to your own, and explore the subject further. Not
to come up with "answers" as much to "dig deeper" and
explore that process and see where it leads. This exercise is both
inherently valuable and pragmatically useful.
So, here’s a challenge, write to someone you haven’t spoken to in
awhile, or a close friend that you haven’t been engaging with deeply in the
recent past. Reach out honestly,
without an agenda outside of reconnecting, and aim to deepen your understanding
of each other.
That’s my theme this week. A return to writing, to caring, to
reconnecting. If you
need someone to talk to, hold me accountable for what I say. I’m grateful for the person who
challenged me into this thought process by creating a dialogue that directly
led me to writing this post.
Thank you, from the depths that I can
reach of who I am, for taking time from your day to read this.
MK
