APW: 2013 Still Here, Where'd It Go?

There are thousands of ways to measure time.  What a year it has been.  Some elements of this past year that were previously constants in my life have slipped by without awareness.   Other events have occurred last week and already feel foreign, as if they transpired months ago.   And then, with a few deep breaths and reflection, I am able to recall past relationships and adventures so vividly that I feel the same breeze that blew in years ago. 

We all share this space, this dirt, this air and though we may be on similar wavelengths, we all individually perceive how the day and the seasons pass through our own lens, with our own memories and experiences.  I haven’t consciously not updated this blog.  I have found myself engaged in other experiences, and this was one of the many elements of my life that has slipped.

This will be an update more than a meditation.  A catch up from my end, and I would love to hear how your year is going too.  I have much to share, and I am finally giving myself time tonight, to "finish my thoughts" and reflect more wholly with consideration to the past and the present.  I've been in such a state of hurry, or rather living in a focused and planned present, that it hardly allows time for self-growth, reflection and carefully considered questioning of the day and the moment.

I am guilty too of finding myself lost in moments where I do not appreciate the beauty of the ocean, the wind, the trees, the stars, the sunset.  Too “engaged with work” that when I look up and see the beautiful starry night, I have entirely neglected the sunset and transition of first star to thousand, one of my favorite times to be conscious of the world outside.

What has been existing for me is the meditation of completing the giant task list, problem solving along the way, falling asleep and repeating.  I’m on a 3 week bender of working from waking to sleeping (while taking better care of myself than earlier this year, with good nutrition, and often though not always good nights of sleep).    I will persist this pattern until August 26th when I head up to Haleakala for a 5 day camping trip.  First few days with friends and then some alone time.  I will soon be going on a trip that will draw me away from Maui for the longest period of time since 2010.  And I am very much ready for it, or at least I think I am.

So here I go, being more mindful about my thoughts and writings, as I recognize I have not treated my last year with that same sense of awareness and intention.  It has been full of spontaneity, and often disregard for myself in light of the bigger picture, which are neither good nor bad qualities.  I’d suggest they are necessary in this life, though they require a balance.

My work with the Community Work Day, now Malama Maui Nui, a Maui non-profit that focuses on the resilience, beautification, sustainability and restoration of culture and food security on Maui nui is coming to a healthy completion.  We just had a large workday at the greenhouse with 12 volunteers, about 8 from Hana, and it went excellent.   It was well planned and well executed.  We did a complete transformation of the gardens outside and the greenhouse inside.  Did a lot of work on plant hygiene and plant propagation.  All the plants in the greenhouse are grown for school and community gardens.  I am feeling more  comfortable each week handing this over to very capable hands.  I believe it will continue its path of maintenance, steady growth, and thriving plants.

The nursery business has been a larger learning experience than I could have imagined.  I have been running it the last few weeks without Jason, my business partner.  I now have a full grasp of the operation from production to finances to marketing to administration.  I have learned some, (though so much more to learn!) of the Hawaiian landscape, made many great connections, learned about budgeting and scheduling what it entails to run a business.  Though it has been a roller coaster year, I am grateful to have seen it through to this point.  I am taking space from it after creating many sustainable systems, where it will continue to grow.  In the last year we have annexed and established infrastructure in two new growing spaces (had to establish one twice after a flash flood), and one 4000 sq ft. greenhouse filled with healthy plants.  We now have benches in multiple retail stores (Home Depot and True Value) that sell Certified Organic Vegetable and Herb Starts (only nursery on Hawai'i to do so!) and Organic Edible Landscaping and native plants.  We have and are growing many fruit trees and beneficials as well and I am proud to contribute in this way to taking small steps towards food security on the island.

I'm slowly getting ready for Nepal, where I’ll be doing a 4 month program with Tevel B’tzedek, an Israeli Non-Profit that focuses on Environment, Agriculture, Education, and Women’s Empowerment.  I am hoping to be involved in the agricultural end of things, helping set up demonstrative community organic gardens in rural areas of the country.  I have not yet mentally prepared myself, as it never feels real to me until I step off the plane.  Then it all tends to come as quite a shock.  I have recently decided my path before going to Nepal which I am greatly excited about.  I'm taking 10 days on Hawai'i before flying over, which will allow me to catch up with friends and hikes and campgrounds and beaches that I've neglected this last year.  And possibly to make a trip over to Lana'i.  Then I'll be flying to Thailand for 2 weeks to visit permaculture farms, take a natural buildings course, and visit temples and mountains, and of course, eat local grinds.  I fly to Kathmandu 2 days before the program starts and will be in a great state to immerse myself in the new environment.  I am very willing to give all of myself towards something, and I prefer to do that in a focused area, instead of the scattered state I am currently in, growing plants in 3 towns spread over 2 hours of driving time on the island.

I have done a recent 5 day cleanse and feel much better, which has been essential to getting the amount of work done that I desire to do.  And though I have lots of planning and prep still to do for my trip,  I have taken some early necessary steps such as vaccinations and booking flights and I believe, as Modest Mouse sings, "It all will fall, fall right into place."

I hope you all are well and are finding peace in the present with the past year.  It has been a difficult emotional year for me, and this all leads to strengthening and shaping us into who we are and what we can give back.  We all have the amazing ability of knowing what is best for ourrself and others in the moment even when emotion overwhelms.  I am so grateful to be brought up in a family of amazingly large hearts and giving souls that have created my foundation.  I am grateful to all the friends I have met and will make and all the experiences we have shared and will share throughout our lives.  I wish you all much luck and happiness, with the ability to positively engage with all the unknowns of the following year.

With much love I will be thinking of all of you as I journey East.

A hui hou kakao malama pono (be well until we meet again),

Matthew