I have devoted a large portion of my time to the extent that I have neglected not only creative expression, but also began eating and sleeping sporadically. I have turned recently a corner, recognizing that if I intend to continue this, I would have to change my habits towards more sustainable measures, and this directly means taking time for my self. Not necessarily a day off, but hours off in the evening or minutes of reflection in daylight or balanced meals and viewing each 'task' as a fortunate meditation throughout the day.
As of four days ago, I have begun the practice of a daily meditation. Here are the rules I have created for myself:
1) Minimally once a day.
2)
Time is illusory. If considering length of meditation, one’s
mind becomes distracted from the moment.
Take sufficient time to regain peace and not get hung up on a conceptual
future. The future will come regardless of one's
present state of mind and present actions.
3)
Consider the size of the mosquito to the
man. Accept the smallness of man to the
tree, the mountain, the ocean, the distance between stars.
4)
You have a past.
Allow time to reflect on events and relationships (people, places, family).
5)
Nothing is good or bad. It just is.
Its essence is unchanged by our perception of it.
6)
Don’t strive for perfection, you’ve attained it
before you were born.
7)
The world is full of sound outside of your own
creation. Listen to the world, quiet
your mind.
8)
You were given the gift of creation and imagination
as a child. Let this flow naturally from
the world around you, through your body, your hands. Let this enhance your experience on this planet.
#1 10/20 Early Afternoon
No matter how far removed you are from yourself, remember
you can always begin again in nature. It
all comes back to the natural world. The
air you breathe, thank the trees. The
food you eat, thank the plants. The
vibrant soil you plant, thanks the years of decaying organic matter. The beauty you witness, thank the sun. The music you hear, thank the birds. The circles you walk, thank the earth. The miracles we experience, thank each
breath and the patterns of life.
In both a literal and metaphorical sense , I write now on
the side of a cliff. I have climbed,
sweated, slipped, and regained balance to get here. I stopped nearly 15 meters from the top, on a
bushy patch of California grass sitting at a lesser incline than the rest of
this hill. Just large enough to sit
and place my backpack without concerning myself of it slipping down. I am in a pine forest on Maui, where there is
nothing reminiscent of a tropical landscape around me. The smell of pines, the chill of high
elevation and the loose twigs and dried cackling leaves surround my
senses.
I remove myself from my present hectic life I have intentionally
engaged myself in and choose to enjoy this Saturday afternoon. The sun is gradually emerging from behind the
clouds as I pen this sentence. It took
nearly two months to attempt creative expression. The typewriter is collecting dust, the guitar
strings beckon play. This is my first of many practiced daily
meditations.
It is nearly two o clock, the trees bend in the wind, a
faint hum of an engine drifts by as it passes the curve on this lonely
upcountry road. The birds' hum comes
more into frequency as it rings around the skies in their humble sanctuary.
I decide I will return to this hike and see
if this cliff levels out above me. I
forget that I’ve been on a steep hill. I forget that I have climbed to this point. I forget I have even walked to the base of this hill. I
feel safe when I don’t consider the world outside the present. I shoulder my backpack, cap my pen and grab
some roots to continue my climb. Time to
find my way back to the start.
#2 10/21 Late Evening
The moon interferes with the stars. Its arrogance takes on a percentage of the
sky. To offer a different
perspective on light, there is a lot of history being blurred by the moon's overpowering luminscence.
The ocean I swam in and the trees I walked in will be there
when I am not. It is my choice to be
present in those atmospheres. They will
always be there and I have the potential to always be there. It is a choice and it is sad when I ignore
it.
I had my hair trimmed by a friend of mine. She cut it to the length when I first met her
three years ago. I will begin to feel
lighter. This is a positive
inevitability. All imminent events ought
to be viewed as positive, for they are happening. However, we must reconcile that we don’t have
control over all that is approaching and we must accept this lack of stability
with a smile. If we controlled and knew
all, there would be no anticipation about life. And what is life when all is predestined. There is the continuity of a 24 hours in a
day, the beginning and the end.
Everything in between happens differently to us each day. How lucky.
#3 10/22
Ulu. Helped plant 288 Breadfruit Trees. This in itself is a meditation. Watering and caring for hundreds of keiki plants each day. This too is a meditation. Hearing this quote (paraphrased) and reflecting on it, too, is a meditation. "It's always all right in the end, and if it's not all right, it's not yet the end."
#4 10/23
Sat at the Farmer’s Union Meeting in Haiku and closed my
eyes with a community of strangers and listened to the astrologist take us
outside of our planet and envision a larger picture of the solar system. She guided us on a trip to the atmosphere and had us consider earth’s relation and rotation around the green sun, and to relate ourselves
to the earth, our dwelling, and imagine ourselves and our behavior as one in
the same as our dwelling. As the Earth glides into Fall, we too fall into its Shadow.
As each day passes, there will be more to share.
#5 10 / 24
Drove to Hana.
Reflected on first drive to Hana.
How can you get more Hana than Hana? The search ended so to speak, though nothing
ever ends. Drove back from Hana. This I believe was the shortest time period
between driving back over to the other side.
What a journey. Learning the road
not by mile markers, but by the plants learning in ma kai and mauka side.
#6 10 /25
Took a lunch break today by the labyrinth which I’ve yet to
walk at the Sacred Garden. Disciplined
with a mono meal 3 times a day, Kitchari cleanse. I am refraining from writing about work
here. This being said, there is not much
to report outside of that this week. It
is wonderful though, to watch the space and the plants grow. I reflect on this before I sleep.
'If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.'
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